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Youth softball player

So What If My Kid Never Loses?

"I don't want my kid being 'ok' with losing. I'd rather them win every time than deal with losing. Losing sucks."

That's the response I overheard a dad tell his friend at a coffee shop last week. I get it, no one likes to lose. "Losing sucks" to quote that dad. I 100% agree.

But unlike that dad, I'm 1000% ok with letting my future son/daughter lose a game.

You don't want to lose. You never want your kid to lose, but out of loss and failure comes lessons and teachable moments that can set the child up for success later in life.

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But don't do that.

Benches cleared Tuesday during a baseball game between the Kansas City Royals and Chicago White Sox after Royals pitcher Brad Keller hit White Sox batter Tim Anderson in the ribs in retaliation after Anderson hit a home run and flipped his bat celebrating.

It's an unwritten rule in baseball that you don't overly celebrate a home run. There's apparently a book of these rules that when violated, give the other team "the right" to hit you with a ball (or fist).

This will tick off a number of baseball fans but my belief is that if you don't like someone celebrating a home run, stop throwing them pitches they can hit over the fence.

It's a giant temper tantrum.

Like most of us reading this, I threw my fair share of tantrums as a toddler. Take my toy away? You're going to hear me scream. My tantrums continued as I got older, only instead of screaming for a toy, I might intentionally not invite you to a party or talk to you for a few days.

Immature, I know. But who here hasn't done that at least once during their high school or college career?

My tantrums never solved the problem. If anything, it only made the situation continue or made it worse.

You don't see a quarterback taking a cheap shot at the defensive back who intercepted his bad pass and proceeded to high step down the sideline into the endzone for a touchdown did you?

You don't see a basketball player throwing blows at another player who "broke her ankles" (i.e.: crossed the basketball over to where the defender falls down).

Unwritten baseball rule or not, the beaning of a player for that equates to tantrum being thrown by the pitcher or team that was just "shown up." If you don't like it, then pitch better so it doesn't happen next time.

If you don't like something, do something better about it.

Life doesn't improve for us through tantrums.

I hear countless friends complain about the relationship they're in. It's bad, or maybe it's beyond bad to toxic levels. It's going nowhere. YET THEY STAY IN IT, continuing to complain about the other person and everything they do.

FACT: if you aren't choosing to change it or get out of it, you're choosing to accept it.

Complaining doesn't change a situation, action does.

You may not like how your boss treats you or the culture of your office, but what are you doing to change it? Most of us if we're honest, admit we only complain and try to blow off the steam about our situation at happy hour.

Successful people invest that same time to improve:

Complaining about our work problems don't change them. Our actions do.