There will always be friction when you decide to become your best self.
It's inevitable that changing what was for what could be forces us down a path of the uncomfortable. It's natural to feel the discomfort traversing a road you've not been down.
External forces will try to keep you where you are.
"Friendships" that feel threatened by your growth will passively (or directly) mock your new decisions.
Things like Netflix or every single sporting event on tv will suddenly not fit into your weekly schedule like they once did.
There will be siren calls to comfort that beckon you each day as you go from what you were, to the better version to desire to be. You'll be challenged in this growth, but often times the biggest challenges we face to reaching our potential do not come from the outside.
Our biggest challenges always come from within.
Between our inner self-talk and the habits we've built over the previous years, the strongest forces we face to change are internal ones. There are many a talented individual who ended up stopping themselves from finding out how much more they have in the tank.
It's what's within our control that's far more likely to trip us up than what's outside of it.
To change a behavior, we have to be aware of it first.
Once we know what we're up against, we can take intentional steps to defeat it.
Here are six toxic habits I see trip up even the most talented performers from experiencing the growth they seek.
They're small, seemingly inconsequential when done once - but how often does the one choice become a consistent, daily one?
1. Spending without a budget.
Give every penny a home. The mental freedom that comes with a budget can't be understated.
I'll never forget the stress of debt. It felt like a dark cloud hovering over me and I couldn't escape. It impacted by ability to be present in the moment with friends, created a constant fear of the future, and even brought a sense of helplessness at times on overcoming it.
I finally got serious about my finances and started building a budget so I could not only be financially free, but mentally too. There are great resources like YNAB and books like I Will Teach You to be Rich, YNAB, and Profit First that greatly impacted me.
2. Scrolling late night and when 'bored'
It's scary how easy we can go into the rabbit hole on our social media feeds. How many times have we looked up and thought, "where did the last 15 minutes go?"
Move your phone across the room at night. Get off the screens at night to get better sleep (and have more energy the following day). Set time limits on your apps to control how long you spend on them. Create a game of not reaching for your phone when waiting in line at the grocery store or in transit.
Break free from a trap that enslaves most of the world.
3. Avoiding workouts that 'push' you.
No one loves the feeling of fire in their lungs from pushing themselves hard, but it's imperative that at least once a week you take yourself to that point.
Slow & steady is great for strength training, but the mental resolve forged from knowing what's coming and willingly taking it on can't be understated. It's easy to fall into the trap of training what's comfortable and justifying that we're doing better than most.
Yet, we're simply strengthening the negative habit of only do what's comfortable. Embrace the burn so you don't let that negative habit of comfort take hold.
4. Neglecting to invest in quality teammates.
Strong relationships make your life better. Period. The stronger our relationships, the more happiness we'll find - and better accountability we'll have to uphold our desired standards.
You need strong teammates to reach your potential.
5. Justifying 'I'll get to it tomorrow.'
How many 'tomorrows' have you already stacked? The small decision to keep pushing key actions to the next day only delays your own progress and builds additional anxiety and pressure each day. "I know I should.." hang over your head each time you wait another day.
“To procrastinate is to be entitled. It is arrogant. It assumes there will be a later. It assumes you’ll have the discipline to get to it later (despite not having the discipline now).” - Ryan Holiday
6. Replaying mistakes over and over.
We're all going to mess up - but the ones who continue to replay the mistake over and over again as an innocent bystander are doomed to sacrifice growth.
Feel the feelings - but take time to evaluate the mistake from an objective perspective. Take note of what steps you can take differently next time instead of just mentally rewatching the mistake.
You'll never seize today if you're stuck in yesterday.
Remember: Winning results are a always an inside job.